Friday, March 6, 2009
9:51 PM ●

I'm really tired :x

Even though I haven't been practising every morning I feel tired.
Tests, exams, pop quizzes is driving me to the edge of sanity.
I feel like I'll be pushed off the cliff and into the sea of insanity.
Sigh, I'm really tired of studying like crazy and getting only mediocre marks,
tired of where my responsibilities lie,
tired of the little whatever time I have after getting back from school,
tired of procrastination,
tired of my problematic playing, tonguing, whatever you name it I have it.

I know I shouldn't be complaining since there are much more people under the same stress or even more.
I shouldn't get pissed off so easily even by little small remarks that are supposed to be not intentional.
I shouldn't be so selfish and not think of others.
I shouldn't be such a procrastinator.
I shouldn't shirk my responsibilities.

But.
I'm really freaking out.

I'm stressed I'm tired I'm going to break down soon.
I know I have to work harder but I don't have the motivation.
I know my tonguing sucks and I'm not practising.

I don't know how to describe this feeling but,
it sucks when you fall asleep in the midst of a pile of biology notes and wake up at 4am in the morning,
it sucks when you've abandoned your part mates and study for tests,
only to get marks that are not even satisfactory,
it sucks when you attempt to tongue bars 62 and 67 only to find that you just screwed it up again,
it sucks when you want to work hard and find that its difficult because you dont even have the motivation,
it sucks when you fall asleep before the TV or laptop when you've never even done that during the first 14 years of your life ever,
it just sucks when things in your life ain't going well and you know
that you are just not in control of anything.

Sigh, shall attempt to earn my marks back in Term 2, really need it.
I'm glad my chem viva went well though, at the very least I didn't screw it up or something :D
Something to be happy about finally haha :D
Urm today didn't go so well, as expected.
Mons and Fris are not expected to go well anyway :x

Never mind.
I shall listen to music and make Joanne's birthday card :D

Goodnight!
(& thank you please don't question me about my post just shut up if you think I don't want to talk to you I'm very sure you know who you are :D please have some common sense, like what Ms Tan said, "If you have common sense you won't fail your viva", I just want to tell you, "If you have common sense you will shut up" :D)

xxxxxx

( Run to the city. )